The Tune-up

The weather App on my iPhone displays an icon that indicates it will rain today. For the most part, this feature is usually accurate and I can rely on this technology to help with my daily routines. The App world has expanded to include all sorts of things such as Mapquest to help find driving or walking directions to any desired place, Ladytime which keeps your menstraul cycle on record to help with fertility decisions, or ShopSavvy, a bar code scanner that helps locate the best price on a product. If you can think of it, there is an App for it. It is all great, until you go a day without checking into your Apps and you wind up like me today. Unfortunately, I proceeded my first errand for the day without consulting with my App

For the first time in 9 months, my car gets washed by the brand-new car washing drive thu offered at a local Shell gas station on the corner of Talbert and Brookhurst. For $8 and an additional .10 cents off per gallon on your total gas purchase, you get the whole nine yards, The Works - power wash, buff, wax, and dry. This is a deal I cannot pass up and it is a service much needed to maintain the longevity of the car's paint job. Driving through the car wash made me think of how spoiled I've been. Dan has been washing my car and detailing it every single week, all by hand and free of charge. God bless his kind heart. The day seems overcast, but still relatively nice.

My car sparkles as it gets driven to Thien Tan's Auto shop to get an oil change and on the way, rain came pouring over the entire car. The car wash excursion that happened two minutes ago was a complete failure. A text message comes through just when I am thinking that my eight- dollar car wash is being washed down by the rain. It is a text from a close friend whom I consider my own family, he informs me about his passing mom. Suddenly, nothing is that important any more. My heart skips a beat as I remember his mom and her unconditional love for him and everyone around her. She was the kindest and warmest woman I know.

As I begin to think about her, I begin to think about all the unconditional love

that surrounds me and appreciate the ones I interact with on a daily basis and regret to neglect the ones who are out of sight. Pulling into the auto shop, I push these thoughts aside in order to give my car it's usual tune-ups. A simple 10,000 mile oil change was my original intent and although I knew my breaks are on its last few stops, I was hoping it will last long enough to hold me over for a few extra weeks. But it's time. The breaks' life line has expired.

I feel slightly weakened by unexpected tune-ups expenditures exceeding my budget, totalling $950. But as I drive away from the auto shop, I acknowledge life in the grand scheme of things and understand that with everything that exists on earth, each requiring maintenance and all of which comes with an unforeseen lifeline. I will care for and maintain my car for as long as it will be with me. There are no Apps in the world that will predict how long my car will be around, so each day that it is with me, I will keep it clean and shiney, maintained to the best of by ability, and to appreciate and love it day in and day out.

Sunday

It all started out with a walk to the park, at 10:30am where Dan shot hoops and showed me how to line sprint on the basketball court. In addition, our day will consist of Pho, Yogurtland, and an intentional all-day vegging

It's about three hours into the showing of 84th Academy Awards, with my sore body unable to do much more around the house, I flop myself on the couch, laying my backside against the nicely worn leather with my feet tucked lightly under a soft black faux fur throw, I force myself to relax. My body opens up to the couch, pulls it close and grabs on to it tight, like the way Miss Dior Cheri envelopes my delicate skin every time I leave the house. I'm comfortable and able to forget about all the cleaning, organizing, cooking, and loads of laundry that ironically happened all day long. Whatever happened to the anticipated day of doing nothing?

My body becomes vulnerable to this couch and my mind is being relaxed by the white noise produced from the Academy Awards. I take a quick glance at Dan, who is lounging on the lover’s seat perpendicular to me, and notice his intense focus on the laptop in front of him.

I begin to reminisce about the guilt I felt yesterday, when we had jokingly posted a microwave on Craigslist to sell for $25. It took an astonishing two minutes to receive a response from a guy named Martin and within 45 minutes it was sold. I've never felt so guilty for selling a household item that was in mint condition and practically brand-new. It was a bargain!

After accepting the payment in cash and putting it my neon green American Eagle snow jacket's pocket, the guy said he's buying this to furnish a house operated by SoberLiving - a drug and alcohol recovery housing provided to those in need. My first reaction was to give back the money. “This is wrong of me to do,” I thought to myself. Resisted the urge to return the money, I quickly looked around the garage for more stuff to give him, as if to give him enough stuff to accommodate for the money he had paid me for the microwave. As if I owed him something and that I needed to help him somehow. I pointed to a pile of stuff that Dan and I had sorted through last weekend and told him to take whatever he needed. He filled his brand-new, black Cadillac SRX with a TV, lamp, and other nick nacks from the pile of stuff. The more his car was being filled up, the less guilt I felt and the more I felt like I was helping in some way. I’m not sure if that was a good deed that we had done, but I’m hoping to not feel guilty for spending our microwave money on a nice bowl of Pho sometime next week.

The Academy Awards is now over and I’m too relaxed for my own good. The timer on my body is clicked to “bedtime” and all I can think about is the enticing bed waiting for us in the master bedroom. We are ready to shut down the house.

Couch Potato

How much does it cost to spend time on the couch? After spending $2 on "50/50" and $3 on "In Time" at Blockbuster Express in a two-day period, you start to think that if this goes on for a month period, you'll be spending a minimum of $75. And that is watching only one movie a day and keeping the movie for just one day. Each day the movie isn't returned, you are being charged the same amount it was charged the first day. If the movie got buried under your school books and old gym clothes in the trunk of your car for weeks on end, consider yourself one poor bastard.

So to cut down on that expense, we added a new expense through DirectTv cable to have Showtime, Cinamax, HBO and other channels that provides movies we would've had to rent. The upgrade is costing us another $40 bucks a month which makes the grand total close to $120. That's over$1500 dollars a year.

We've done careful calculation and found that in order to hit break-even point for each month, we need to watch at least 16 movies a month, which averages out to .5 movie per day. So in order to make a profit, we would have to watch one full movie each and every day of each and every month. This means no starting a movie and then stopping it half way through, no falling asleep during a movie, no talking on the phone or doing homework during a movie, no cooking or house chores or sex during a movie, no going a day without watching a movie, nothing. If we missed a movie today, we'd have to watch two the next. If we've powered through three movies today, we are good for the next two days. You get the idea.

How is this cheaper than renting one movie at a time? Well it's not. But one good thing is we are forced to cuddle, all the time, on the couch. DirecTv is charging us a monthly fee to sit on our couch, in our own living room, and cuddle. It's costly to be a couch potato, but we couldn't be happier.

Aftermath

There isn't a richter scale made to accurately measure the aftermath of my previous weekend. A sudden cold-like symptom hovers over me and my suspicion of this cause is a combination of Origine Vodka & Tonic Soda at our house followed by Charlie Palmer and Tin Lizzie Saloon, all of which happened on Saturday, just two nights ago. My head is screaming uncontrollable pain and its heaviness is taking over my concentration. My brain and body are out of commission. Wish I can put up a sign that says, "closed for lunch, will be back a long long time from now".

My day starts out slow, listening to sparrows making music outside, watching the Cooking Channel, and waiting for a potential buyer, Danielle, to come and snatch a few wooden boxes. All sales revenue will be spent at the nearest grocery store today. Her expected time of arrival is 11:30am, which is about an hour away, and my expected sales revenue will be a whooping 75 dollars.

The central heating system has been on auto all morning, set to 75 degrees to heat upthe entire house, yet my hands and feet remain cold and numbing and I am more irratible than ever . I'm in desperate need to break out of this icebox and get outside where it appears nicer and the warmth provided by the sun seems cozy. Perhaps I should run an errand of some sort.

My vision is blurry and my thoughts are hazy as I head out to return a movie, "50/50" at Blockbuster Express located inside of Rite Aid. I am still exhausted! And I still cannot think. My mind is shot down by the residue of liquor intake (known as birthday shots) that occurred two nights ago. I feel weak and my body feels soggy like over-marinate beef skewers.

I'm sitting in class now, and just 48 hours until our first exam, I am trying to stay in tact and alert. I'm eager to go home and lay my beaten body down on the couch and snooze until I feel better.

The weekend was a blast, however, the repercussions are more than I can handle. Nonetheless, I vouch to not change a single thing when my next birthday rolls around. Thank goodness it is more than 11 months away. Thank goodness.

Y-E-S

From a so-called beatlab, inspired by Step Brothers, or otherwise known as Dan's private place for alone-time and secret dances, were tunes of "Your Birthday" by The Beattles, "In da Club" by 50 cent, and "birthday Sex", by Jeremiah, all Deejayed by the master himself, Dan Sheahan. One tune after the next, it travels into our room and gently caresses my ears as I lay in bed unable to wake up. Sitting on the nightstand is the sweet aroma of freshly brewed coffee resting in a pink Pepelepue cup with a swirl of vanilla nut creamer. It is irresistible and the smell is so real I can taste it. This is when I realize that today is a special day.

Today is Thursday and it is one day out of the week that gets stretched like a shrunk knit sweater that has been tossed in the drier for too long. The usual work, then school, then more work routine gets an unexpected side order of Dan's later to be revealed birthday surprise. Rolling up in his driving machine, and parked in the red zone outside my work, he waits patiently as I finish up my last client for the day. With Gulf Stream, a local seafood restaruant with the coolest outdoor patio and amazing oysters on the half shell, as our final destination, Dan insists on making a quick stop beforehand. All trust invested, I follow his lead. Although my stomach is kicking in pain and begging for anything to eat, I remain as cool as a mid-summer's strawberry lemonade. As we head further away from Newport and closer to Huntington Beach on PCH going northbound, my wondering mind is restless and my tummy is now fuming with steam ready for a Man vs Food challenge.

With luck on my side, a parking spot became available upon our arrival in downtown Huntington Beach. Parked on 5th Street, a number held close to my heart, we walk towards the ocean with hands locked tight and shivering every step of the way. Hunger creeps up on me once again, but I refrain from voicing it this time around. As we approach the front of Shorebreak Hotel, he points out the exact spot of our first meeting eleven months prior. The magic number five appears again, all of them are black beach chairs placed horizontally side by side in front of the hotel. Dan was adamant to have me sit in the chair where he had sat the first day we met. "I have two birthday presents for you to open," he says softly. From a black fabric recycled grocery bag, he hands me two wrapped presents, one on top of the other and insists I start with the small-sized present on top.

This little square shaped present was small enough to fit comfortably in the middle of my palm. I felt an immediate connection to the box and felt in my heart this could be my dream come true. As I continue to unwrap and finally open the red wooden box, it was empty, just the white velvet lining glimmering back at me. If this is a joke, it is poorly delivered and nobody is laughing. Feelings of confusion and possibly resentment may be filtering my thoughts. Dan immediately intersects my shocking reaction with a ring held loosely in his right hand and on one knee, he asks me words I will never forget, "Will you marry me?". Without a blink of an eye, tears came rolling down and both of us held each other tight. Catching small gaps of air, Y-E-S! are being whispered under my breath as Dan holds me even tighter.

While time is unmeasurable and bliss is our state of being, the second and bigger present got pushed to the sideline. But eventually, out of the corner of my eye, it catches my attention and excitement fills my body again. This is just the cherry on top - a Blackberry Playbook!!

Tonight I will pack my bag, filling it with only memories of the past, learned lessons, and my willingness to make Dan my priority, I head out to the road of woman hood. I am beside myself and ever so grateful to take on this next saga with my beloved. O

Be Mine

As Wikipedia would have it, Valentine's Day was established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 A.D and named after Saint Valentine, a Christian martyrs. For decades, it was thought that Hallmark created this holiday to boost sales revenue and during this process have created an official holiday for lovers. I haven't done adequate research to confirm which is rumor and which is the truth, but for now, this holiday exists and everyone is buying into it.

The celebration of this lover's day has been bitter sweet for the american culture. Whether your are newly dating or have been together for years, there is a set of unspoken expectations that need be met to validate your love from one another. By unspoken expectation, I mean a romantic dinner, long stem roses, and candy, all in that exact order. It is one day out of the year that if you get it right, you automatically earn the priviledge to screw up as much as you want for the rest of the year. And for the people who are single, the bitterness and unwillingness to accept this lover's day celebration gets expressed via Facebook, twitter, or any modern day social sites. Despising this lover's holiday suddenly vanishes the second a person enters a loving relationship. It's a vicious cycle of love, hate, and celebration.

Yes, in my opinion, it's a twisted holiday and despite the fact that I think all this is B.S, I still adore the gorgeous dozen red roses given to me by Dan today. And for as long as I'm with Dan, I will celebrate Valentine's Day.

Candles

2/12/12

It is 7:52 am, Sunday morning and I am awaken by the blazing sunlight creeping through the seemingly thick drapes embroidered with soft florals. As i lay in bed, three distinct sounds fill the room; at a distance is our magnificent robot that cleans the pool at exactly 7:30 am daily, at the far corner of the bedroom and on the floor is a space heater, and right next to me is Dan's heavy breathing probably due to exhaustion from our continuous home organization that ended just a few hours ago.

Dan is a light sleeper to the extreme and any nano of a movement will cause him to say these words," honey, I love you so much, but...", and after "but" would be something different that he would say depending on the morning. As I lay here quietly, trying my best to refrain from movement under the sheets, thoughts of the last couple of days race through my over capacitated mind. My fingers are becoming numb as I continue to write this blog, but if I move even a smidgen, finishing this blog will never reach the finish line. So I continue to type as fast as i can while maximizing the numbness in these fingers.

I start to recall Dan's move away from his Manhattan Beach home to Fountain Valley where we will join forces. It was last Saturday when Dan and Nate initiated the move by transporting his elegant William Sonoma bed using my dad's minivan. And it was a couple of days ago that we used the same minivan as our logistic means to finalize the rest of his stuff. In retrospect, hiring movers would've been costly, but our bodies wouldn't have suffered from tremendous pains. Salonpas, a sticky patch that gets applied to achey parts of the body, releases heat to reduce pain, just like Bengay, keeps us feeling normal. It was a life saver to say the least.

Today we will wake up to more organizing and more Salonpas. The timer is set for 5pm, this is when we will begin preparation for my birthday dinner celebration that will be shared with my beautiful family. The menu includes 12 lobster tails, beef loin and chicken skewers all cooked on the grill and paired with pasta salad, mixed greens and pilaf rice. And to finish off the night, we will end with a birthday cake, mouthwatering tarimasu from Boulangerie Pierre & Patisserie, a French Vietnamese Bakery.

This will be one achiest, tastiest and bestest birthday I will have!!

A Jewel

2/7/12 Tuesday

Yesterday was more than exceptional, it was a mother-daughter-play-day spent shopping the entire town to gather ideas and to turn concepts into reality. We walked into a store that was taken over by retail items that struggled for liquidation in the past few years. Amongst all the stuff was an item embellished with precious gem to be discovered by us. It was as if it was waiting for us. Placed on a glass shelf, right at eye level, it's noticeable shimmering glow caught our immediate attention the second we entered the store. Without a second thought, I grabbed it tight in my palm and requested every bit of information about this unique piece of jewel. I can't give away what it is exactly, but what I can say is it's a glorious piece of jeweled holder of some sort, that as tradition has it, will be tossed to the next predicted bride at the end of our reception. This sets the complete style and theme for our wedding in June and I have my dedicated mother to thank for. I'm am blessed.

I do

Often Sundays are spent with your kids at the park, brunch with a spouse at a favorite restaurant that serves bottomless mimosas, or laundry and chores around the house. Despite our late night on Saturday, we managed to launch out of bed at approximately 8:30am.

Today will be unlike any other Sunday in my life. There will be no typical house work (just the bare essentials), nor will there be alluring bottomless mimosas. Instead, I will draft the initial concept of a wedding that may have been my dream.

This is where the uniquely awkward inner child of mine yerns to be exposed. The years leading up to this day was not typical of any girl, as there were never an image of a bridal dress, let alone a well-planned-out dream wedding. Let's not let this be confused with the sentimental meaning that constitutes a wedding and the connections and unions brought together by loved ones.

What I'm trying to say is that this precious event is essentially one of the most meaningful events that will occur during the course of my life. And yes, I do want it perfect and flawless, however, the enjoyment of each guest is far more important to me than any perfectly arranged floral arrangement or place cards can ever give. So with that in mind, the physical concept of the wedding can only be experienced and not seen. And each seat at the event is reserved for only the the ones who have impacted my life in someway and hold a special place in my heart.

After all, it is not the material things that make for a perfect wedding, it is the special bond, acknowledgment and happiness that each and every guest will experience. And these things are intangible yet priceless.

This, in-a-nut-shell, is my dream wedding.

Ring ring

From traditional antique country style, monogrammed with your initials, to silk double heart with lace, to custom design satin ivory with rich chocolate ribbon; a ring bearer can be any style that fits your themed wedding. This is precisely what Lori Vu is set out to do today and the place of destination is Joann Fabric store located in Irvine tucked away in a new shopping complex off Barranca Parkway.

It's mid-afternoon on a Saturday and Lori and I play hooky from work for roughly an hour. Joann Fabric store is far from foreign for me . In fact, I grew up going there with my mother andit is where we spent most of our spare time. My mother is a great seamstress even when she was running her own successful Jewelry business and it is Joann that provided everything she needed - from dress patterns to automatic needle threater. It was simply our little playground on our off times.

Childhood memories immediately enter my thoughts as we enter the store. The massiveness of the store made me feel as if I was still a little girl. This place was unlike any other Joann I've ever visited in my entire life. It is as if it is an amusement park of not only fabric and ribbons, but also a wide variety of anything from arts and crafts to silk florals to stationary and jewelry. The only thing missing is roller coaster rides and lemonade stands. Our mission here is to pick up neccessaties to craft Lori's ring bearer pillow for her wedding in April.

After aisles and aisles of strolling and a handful of collected items needed, we make our way to the register to complete out journey. I am more than overwhelmed and unwilling to grasp what it takes to coordinate a wedding. The details are over-the-top exquisite and each detail is followed by the next and all are equally important. This is merely a ring bearer pillow. I can't fathom the intricate tasks that are involved with other areas of the wedding planning process.

I'm still not sure if I love it or hate it. But what I am sure about is knowing that I do want to marry the man I love regardless of what it's going to take to get there.

In my eyes, a wedding is nothing other than a party to celebrate our eternal love for one another and to share this celebration with our closes friends and family. And this is all that matters to me.

No need to recap

Gosh, I'm embarrassed to calculate the exact length of time in which I've neglected to post stuff about me...not that much of it is interesting. The way I look at it, blogging my life away isn't going to automatically reel in readers or develope a massive fan base for that matter; it is evidevidently more of a virtual diary about my life's timeline, written specifically for my own benefits. Much like the timeline that facebook recently created for its users, me included. I only hope to get a couple of interested readers to spy on me so that I can feel somewhat important and that my life in writing is at least worth something. Regardless of the reasons for blogging, I've been itching to post something new, especially when I've been absent for as long as I have. So ok, the truth is it has been over a year since my last blog. I owe this initial blog of 2012 to my dear friend Justine Burt, whom I found out has anonymously blogged about me today. I do not have the slightest idea where to start nor determine which part of my life is more important than the other. My memory of the past is as good as my memory of what I had for dinner last Saturday. But what I do remember are feeling produced by each event that has occurred and infused in me as well as how it has impacted the developement of who I am or where I stand in life. Let's cut the crap and get to the good stuff, which is primarily where I am right now.

Well, to say the least, it is a new year and I am 2 months and 2 days into 2012. One thing's for sure is that I am happy. One of the most significant events that happened to me in the last year and a half is, my best friend, Dan Sheahan. It's not really important to state the day we first met. What's more important is that we found each other, that our strengths and weakness complement each other, and that we make each other stronger and happier. Truth is, my life will forever change and it is this particular event that will lead me to true womanhood.

Anyway, on march 13th, we will celebrate our first year anniversary, but it is June 30th that will forever hold a special time in our lives as well as our family and friends. If you are reading this blog, my guess is that you know me in some way. If you care, I encourage you to come back soon. My sincere appreciation for caring. I've enjoyed my life so far and I hope you have enjoyed reading.

Love, vaan