7/30/12
Our maternity photo shoot is scheduled for tomorrow evening with Andrew Lombardi and rather than planning our outfits and background setting, all I can think about is what this journey into motherhood means to me, how it has affected us as future parents, and our hopes for you as our daughter to be.
There are no words that can express what I'm going through and there isn't exactly a drawn out plan as to how this special occasion can be completed in a way that is perfect. All of our hopes and dreams for you will begin with a simple prayer.
I think of you often and I think about the way you take care of me, especially during the most chaotic time of my life - the marriage between your daddy and I. Your silent comfort inside of me has provided me strength to coordinate a wedding I never knew I could have, so ideal and so dreamy. Because of this, the extra pounds of weight gain, wide hips, soften thick thighs and puffy feet that I am enduring for the first time in my life are all being compensated for. My girlish figure will forever be gone and a new voluptuous shape will be my new forceful embrace. And I do this all for you.
It has been 23 weeks since your conception and every day that passes, your subtle movements grow into mini kicks and punches which naturally intensifies a feeling of connection between us. Everyday I wish you would kick me a little harder just so I can feel you, just so your daddy can feel you, just so we both know you are healthy and growing. I look forward to the day you kick me with tremendous power, leaving me with pains I can smile for days.
You have brought me a profound sense of happiness that I never knew existed and a much needed value for love will forever change your daddy's view of life and possible of women as a whole. We owe this next level of humanitarian experience to you.
Often I think about your distinguished features intermixed between two different cultures, your values as well as your personal character. The tint of your olive skin against your pale brown hair and bright hazel almond -shaped eyes or your light creme skin against your chocolate brown hair and dreamy eyes will never determine your personal character. You will discover your own unique self, become an individual that will shine through this dense population that co-exists with you. It is the collective values between your daddy and I that will help guide you through the tough road of the real world, ensuring a stable and succeeding life for you.
I try to picture your precious face, but I can't. All I can see is the gorgeous little girl with blonde braids at the super market earlier today. I want you in my arms so I can smell you, but I can't. All I can smell is the scent of your daddy's hard work at the office sitting next to me. I want to look you in the eyes and tell you that you are my number one, but I can't. Because if I did, your daddy will be too jealous. I want to tell you that even though I have never met you and don't know what your name will be, I will always love you.
Our decisions as parents-to-be and our future together as first-time family will automatically change because of you. You are a blessing to us and every decision we've made thus far, including the conception of you, has been the best decision we have made together and it has brought us incredible joy and closeness - forever.
