Endurance

12/3/12 I wake up this morning with my left cheek pressed against a corner of a pillow and just an inch away from your face, I can hear you breath while your mouth is slightly open.  My right arm wraps across your swaddled body and rests heavily over your left leg. You give me a brief wiggle to push me off.  Your shrug shoulders  and  slight grunt gives me the indication that you are ready for a diaper change.  This is the start of our day together. A visit to your Pediatrician Dr. Patty Wong for your two-week check up is today's priority. As i struggle to climb out of bed with you cradled in my arms, I think about your upset stomach keeping me up several extra hours last night,  while  your daddy sleeps through the night to prepare for his first day back at work this morning.  With a stiff neck and heavy eye lids, I mentally prepare myself for a  challenging morning.  As my frazzled  feet grabs the ground, I hold you tight against my chest, making sure you don't fall out of my arms.  I stare  at your newly developing face and suddenly out of no where, I feel rested and ready to spend another lovely day with you.  With a fully loaded diaper bag, we are prepared to leave the house for the second time in two and a half weeks to make our 1:30pm appointment.  For me, squeezing  into the backseat of Daddy's black BMW is less painful  and a bit easier compared to the first time we left the house. I sit myself next to you while your daddy safely tucks your fragile body into the infant carseat.  You begin to cry, increasing in volume and intensity, as if you knew we are headed to a doctor's appointment.   Within a few minutes of checking in and just a few feet away from us stands a nurse who calls out, "Juliette Sheahan".  The soothing melody that exerts from the pronunciation of each syllable is like a favorite song programmed on repeat mode. I can listen to it over and over again and love it more each time.  Stripping you down to your bare naked body, you are placed on your back on a medal  scale lined with tissue.  Weighing in at 8 lbs and 7 oz, you are four ounces heavier than your birth weight and almost a pound heavier than your first check-up appointment two weeks ago.  Your height is now 3/4 of an inch taller, giving  you a total of 21 inches and 3/4, and making you an overall healthy baby.   Regardless of the sleepless nights, undeniable tension between your daddy and I, and all the overwhelming newness that arise every second of the way, we drive away feeling proud and accomplished that we have a chance of getting good at this parenting thing. 

Arrival Day

11/15/12 39 weeks ago today, we had no idea whether you existed. Today, as we arrive at Kaiser in Irvine, I carry my 39 inch belly weighing 55 pounds with me, while your daddy lugs two travel size luggages and a gym bag stuffed with two pillows and a blanket,  to check ourselves into Labor and Delivery scheduled for 6:00AM.  We arrive forty five minutes past our check-in time and wait an extra ten minutes to get admitted into our room by a nurse.  From this point forward, our lives will  change forever.   Prepared with questions and knowledge, nurses and doctors enter our room where I'm hooked up to an intravenous  while your daddy starts on a conversation about our current  political issues. I immediately realize this  his  funny way of breaking the ice to make me feel more comfortable while we prepare for our momentous experience that will occur in the operating room around 9:35am.  My thoughts are clear and calm, capturing only images of your face and thinking of only the wonderful things that will happen in the next couple of hours.   After  taking a quick bathroom break to empty my bladder and right before the clock strikes 9am, nurse Jackie walks along side me down a long hallway to a room where you will be delivered.  Daddy waits by himself behind two big doors leading to this room, wearing his head-to-toe white scrub. A twenty-minute preparation time in this room containing at least 6 doctors and nurses whose priority is to deliver you safely, is twenty minutes too long for your daddy to handle as nervousness builds up inside of him.  With a few minutes to spare before your arrival, your daddy enters the room with sweaty palms ready to greet you when  you enter this world.  At 10:06am, a soft cry exerts from your tiny mouth, you present yourself with great ease and confidence. Weighing in at 8lbs and 3oz and 21 inches long, you are one healthy baby and the connection between us has already taken place.  A doctor holds you upside down hanging from your two strong feet, your daddy and I get a quick glimpse of you behind a blue curtain, seeing only your bloody body and faint facial features. Voices from all the doctors and nurses echoing the room with comments about your beautiful eyes.  My exhaustion has subsided and a burst of energy comes over me as I become more anxious to see your face and hold you close to me.  Laying quietly on your daddy's bare chest, you share with him your first skin-to-skin experience that will strengthen your bond with one another, a bond that can never be taken from you.   You are everything we have prayed for and your daddy and I are two very proud parents.  We look forward to sharing our lives with you.  You have already affected us in ways words can never describe. We love you with everything we have. 

Check list

10/15/12 I never believed in preparing too early as I didn't want to be too excited too soon.  But as your arrival day is approaching, I feel more confident and have a legitamit reason to be excited.  With almost five weeks to go and an energy level of a 90-year-old, our long check-off list remains unfulfilled, leaving more to be checked off than checked.  Today I'm reminded my your powerful kicks that I should get some things checked off.  Nowadays, nothing beats me up more than extreme hot weather and since the local forecast for the city of Fountain Valley is 84 degrees, my mom and I head out to Babies R Us earlier than usual -9:20am.  Being the first customers at the store, gives us plenty of room to browse and time to decide, we make our way down every single aisle.  Scheming through all the necessities from  feeding bibs and bottles  to accessories like breast feeding pillow and burping towel, reading every label and fine prints.  Little by little, we fill up the cart with baby blankets, bibs, bed time wraps, and other things we absolutely need.  Before the temperature increases to the point of discomfort for me, we head to one more store followed by lunch before heading home.  Although only a few items were checked off the list, we feel accomplished and look forward to checking off a few more next week.